I can’t believe I’ve not been on here since last summer! It’s been busy and difficult juggling everything that has been going on, but we are getting there.
So, the biggest news is that in October I went ahead for my first IUI. This time, the meds worked a bit too well and I ended up with too many follicles – 7 (the max allowed is 3) so I ended up having them reduced in surgery (pretty much egg collection except I didn’t get to keep them)
3 follicles remaining, and somehow it worked first time! I got a BFP at 9 dpo, total disbelief.
Had my 7 week scan, all was looking well besides the baby (only one) measuring a bit behind.
Had my 9 week scan, all looking well and baby growing well with nice strong heartbeat.
Was released from the clinic and handed over to midwives, but as Christmas and New Year fell when they wanted to see me I didn’t get in until 11 weeks and they couldn’t fit my 12 week scan in until 14 weeks so last week I booked a private scan because I’m impatient and couldn’t wait another 3 weeks
Baby’s heart had stopped. Only a few days before, probably around New Year, but they were definitely gone. I could see their arms and legs but where they should have been dancing around there was just silence.
I’m ok, silently devastated but I’ve been down this road and I’m SO LUCKY to have my son. It’s another waiting game now until I pass baby, which I’m hoping happens soon because I do not want a D&C if I can help it. This time, I was sent home from the hospital with a pile of waterproof bedsheets and the strongest painkillers allowed. Tomorrow I’m going to speak to my GP and see if she can give me something for the terrible nausea I’m still experiencing and will until it’s all over with (that’s just cruel!)
So, there we are. IUI CAN work for me, but my eggs are probably still shitty. I will try again, but when will be a big question mark for now – only last week did I use a huge chunk of my savings to pay off my debts as I felt that at 11 weeks this baby was sticking around and I wouldn’t need to go through more treatment. Now I have no savings, so I’ll have to save up again and hopefully try later in spring or early summer
All I know is that this time I’m handling it a lot better because I have my beautiful boy to cuddle. Nothing will ever compare to the pain of losing my babies before I had him, when losing them also meant losing any hope I had of ever been a mummy
My little miracle!
In other news, he’s now in daycare twice a week which has helped me so much with being able to work in peace or catch up on chores without him undoing all my hard work one step behind. He is the best thing ever and I’m just so glad that I have him